Going on the first date with a guy you probably like so much can be exciting and mind-blowing.
You probably feel the butterflies in your stomach because he has finally asked you out on a date. It is a great thing, isn’t it? But then again, hold on.
Do you know that there are some things that you can do to turn that great first date into a very sour date?
Likewise, there are some things you can do that will turn that great first date into a great second date and on and on till it becomes a great relationship, and ultimately, you both get to spend the rest of your lives together.
You may be wondering what this exactly means. Can’t I have fun anymore and just be myself? This article is supposed to help you have fun, relax, be yourself, and be cautious of things that may turn things sour.
We all have heard the phrase, “All first impressions matter a lot.” Yes, this is very true, even for the first date.
You have to have a great first date so you can have a great second date.
Here are a few things you need to put on your checklist to remember to either do or don’t do.
Avoid Staring at Him All Night Long
He is cute, and you having all ‘puppy’ eyes on him will make you look too desperate to have him.
One thing you should have in mind is that ALL guys love it when a lady challenges them.
They even like the chase. Most guys will never admit this fact anyway, but that won’t stop this from being a fact.
No matter how much you liked this guy or have been itching to go out with him, DON’T tell him that.
Be very careful to act as normal as possible even though you are shouting for joy deep within you.
You don’t need to tell him how great you think he is. Instead, you can simply throw in a compliment and not dwell on it after throwing it. Move on to other topics.
Don’t tell him he is the perfect guy for you, as this tends to scare most men off. Don’t tell him how you think he would make the perfect dad or how great your future with him will be.
You may probably be wondering how ridiculous this sounds, but as ridiculous as it sounds, some women may find themselves going down this way. However, as much as we can, ladies, let’s avoid it, shall we?
Don’t Go All Drunk on Him
We probably have had one of those embarrassing alcohol moments in our lives, haven’t we? Remember how you felt after that embarrassing moment? Do you remember how awful you felt? Now, magnify that feeling a million times; that is how you would feel if you went all drunk on him during the first date.
Drinking alcohol excessively on the first date is, in most cases (about 98% of the time), a sure way to ensure that you will never see that great guy again.
Imagine how your first date with that great guy would be if all you do on that date is throw up on him, tell him all your deepest, darkest life secrets that you probably don’t want to go out, cry, and act all dramatic on him.
Imagine how embarrassed he would feel and how embarrassed you feel the morning after. If you want to avoid all these dramatic incidences, then make sure you don’t take more than a beer or a glass of alcohol, that is, if at all you must take alcohol.
I would rather advise that you take water, wine, or juice to be on the safe side.
Always Speak Your Mind in a Polite Way
If you don’t like the venue or restaurant he picked for the date, if you don’t like sushi and he picked a sushi restaurant, or if you don’t like Chinese food and find yourself going to a Chinese restaurant, please speak up.
No guy likes a pushover, but remember, it’s your first date, and he is trying to get to know you. He just might be assuming that you should probably like sushi or Chinese takeout, or he probably thinks you are into romantic movies (just like all girls), whereas you are into action movies. Help him out by speaking up.
Don’t wait till you get to the venue before you tell him. That is rude, making his efforts look like they have gone to waste.
The safer option is to ask him where the date would take place or, better still, suggest places you would like to go or sites you would like to see. He just may take a cue from that.
Also, be bold and know what you want to eat or drink during the date. Don’t always leave it to the guy to pick your drink or meal. Every guy likes a confident woman who knows her thing. The attitude of always leaving the guy to get to pick your drink or meal gets old fast.
Dress Comfortably
Most ladies tend to miss this option. They feel that since it is their first date, they need to wear something “alluring,” such as shoes that are six feet high, etc. We get that you want to look your best for that first impression, but it just might turn sour when you overdo it.
It’s your first date, but that isn’t the time to try that new heels or tight dresses. This is because, for the first date, the level of anxiety is high. You don’t need to add another stress by being uncomfortable with what you are wearing.
Here is a secret: Most guys know when you feel uncomfortable with what you wear. They just might keep quiet and watch you making a mockery of yourself. In order not to have that impression, wear things that you feel most comfortable in.
If you are comfortable in a simple, beautiful dress and flats, please go for it. Don’t wear a tight dress with shoes as high as the hill. You just might want to walk around on a beautiful evening, and you are just wearing too high a heel, which might hinder that.
Mind Your Time
I understand that you need to look beautiful and sexy for that date, but keeping your date waiting while you are still trying to fix your face won’t be nice.
We know that there is something known as being fashionably late, and also, it is a known fact that ladies are known for coming late, but try not to be late on your first date.
How would you feel if you were the one kept waiting? Awful right? Then don’t keep your date waiting. Mind your time; he would appreciate it so much.
Don’t Over Obsess About Your Look
Sincerely, there is a tendency for all ladies to do this, but we have to curtail this obsession. Running to the restroom to touch up your make-up, powder, or lipstick just won’t do it.
Please avoid doing that. Running to the restroom every minute or bringing out that little mirror we all carry around won’t be nice.
Instead, look beautiful before you go out with him, focus all that intense energy on having a good conversation with him, and stop obsessing about your appearance. Will you?
Remember to Smile
Don’t go looking like you were forced to come out on that date with him. Guys always look out for your smile to know if they are doing something right, and if you smile right back at them, it will give them a good impression of you. But also remember not to make it excessive so that you don’t look weird.
Focus on Him and Not Your Phone
Dear ladies, you are on a date with a guy you like, not with your phone. Stop checking your phone every minute as if you expect time to run out and you must go home.
Nothing is as rude as constantly conversing with someone on his/her phone. This simply depicts that your date is a bore. Checking your Facebook statuses or tweets is good, but can you please leave them till later?
Start Up a Conversation
Now, on your first date, you can allow your date to start up the conversation initially. I will advise you to let him start the conversation first so you don’t look too eager.
But then, when it gets to that awkward silence, you can try to keep the conversation going by asking questions. Things that you feel you should know on the first date are the things you should ask.
Don’t ask if he would like to have 3 or 4 kids or how he would want the color of your bedroom to be. You can always start a little by talking about the weather, traffic, work, hobbies, etc, till you both are comfortable moving on to the more serious questions like exes.
You Can Always Offer to Pay
Now, this doesn’t mean your date can’t pay your bills. It simply means that you are offering to be a support. Most guys like ladies that they can always lean on financially, emotionally, etc., when in need. No one likes a liability.
Now, if you offer to pay and he agrees, then be prepared to pay so that you don’t look as if you are only bragging about paying. No one likes a person who brags about something he or she can’t do. Whatever you do, don’t let him feel that he must always pay, and you are always entitled to that. Most guys would run after they notice that.
Don’t Be So Self-indulged
While conversing with your date, Endeavour should always ask or know things about him, too. Don’t let it be all about you all the time.
Yes, we know that you are great, but guess what? He also wants to be flattered that way too. So, don’t always make it feel like he should be grateful for having you at his table. Remember that there is an actual person who is also great at your table.
Don’t go all out speaking only about yourself without knowing about him. If you do, you just might as well say bye to him.
Except He Asks You, Don’t Bring Up Your Ex
No one wants to hear about their partner’s ex on the first date. The first date is about you and him, not you and some guy in your past. Except he brings up the topic himself, don’t begin to tell him the gory details of your past life.
If you are the one to bring up the story about your ex without him asking you, then it seems like you are still hung up on your ex or you want a pity party from him. You honestly don’t want to start a new relationship that way.
Don’t Start Acting Like a Desperate Lady
Don’t start telling him how you want your house to be, how many kids you want, or how big your wedding will be.
Doing that simply screams desperation. You might already view him as your soulmate but don’t voice it.
Just enjoy the date, and maybe on later dates, you guys can discuss it.
Avoid Asking Him How Financially Stable He is
Though finances are important, don’t bring it up during your first date conversation.
Doing this will make you look cheap and look like all you are after is his “big, fat” wallet.
There are more subtle ways to go about it, and the truth is, in the long run, you will later discover whether he is financially stable or not.
Avoid questions like where he sees himself in a couple of years, how lucrative his Job is, how much he makes, or if he may be getting promoted soon.
If you must ask questions about his job, be genuinely interested in learning how his job works.
Let him see the genuine interest in getting to know what he does for a living, and then, trust me, he will begin to open up to you.
Be Polite and Considerate
Some ladies on their first date will sound rude to the guy or like they are doing him a favor by going on a date. If you aim for a relationship, do not go down that road.
Be polite to him. Use “thank you” and “I’m sorry” appropriately.
This shows that you have a good character and, above all, respect his ego. Most men are a big bundle of ego and need it to be respected.
So, while on your first date with a guy, make sure you have a good character that he will be proud of, especially if you want a relationship with him. Good character will put you in his limelight faster than you think.
I hope this article has been able to help you. These things, when considered, will help you get hooked for a second and third date and then eventually marry.
We wish you a superb time on your date. Remember, be yourself, but don’t overdo it.
