Recently I wrote an article on what men should look for in a woman, quite really you can check it out.
So, to even it out, I decided to let millions of sisters out there know and understand what women should look for in a man to avoid sob stories later.
However, if you are a woman who is ONLY looking for;
- Men to spend on her
- Marriage because the clock is ticking, and people have started calling you old maid
- A rebound, just to show your ex that you can do better
If you fall into any of the above categories, kindly ignore, because this article isn’t for you.
All right, now that we’ve cleared that out, let’s focus on what women should look for in a man. Sadly, we live in a world where marriage has little or no meaning to people.
Meet someone, feel the spark, and Boom off to the altar. While that is sweet and romantic, it could also be detrimental; there more to marriage than rainbows and sprinkles.
Here are some of the BASIC things women should look for in a man, especially when they want to enjoy and build their lives together.
A family-oriented man
If you want your children to have a male figure in their lives, someone to inspire them, be there for them as well as for you, then go for a family-oriented man.
A family-oriented person is someone who never loses sight of the importance of family irrespective of how choked up his schedule is. Build with a man who has a special place for the family in his life.
But Joy, how do I know if he is family-oriented? Well, little things matter. That is why I implore people never to ignore body language, jokes, remarks, from their partners during dating/courtship.
These are ways you get to know the real people behind the mask, not asking questions they have prepared for. Does he respect his family members?
Does he say silly things about your people? How well does he relate with people under and above him? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself.
Also, how was he brought up? Upbringing plays a vital role in the belief system of a person. You stand a chance of raising your kids if your man is not family-oriented.
An intelligent man
One of the essential criteria a man needs to have is intelligence; you need first to be an intelligent man before you can call yourself a leader.
When saying yes to a man, remember you aren’t only putting your future in his hands; you are subjecting your unborn children to his leadership too.
Your kids deserve intelligent parents, so if you’ve not been developing yourself, keep the dating, courting, and marriage talk for now and focus on how to be useful, not just to your future husband, but to your unborn kids.
So Joy, are you saying we should go for mathletes and whiz kids? Lol, no, not really.
Go for a man you can learn from, a man that can teach your kids basic life principles: someone who knows what he is doing, and the kind of family he wants.
A faithful man
I know what you are thinking, but it goes beyond cheating on your partner with another woman/man.
How faithful is he with finance, and his words? Does he say one thing today, and does another tomorrow? Do circumstances easily sway him?
Can people close to him trust him with their money? As a responsible woman, you have no business with a self-indulgent man.
Also, if you are wondering why you are not attractive to good men, this could be the reasons
A kind man
Ladies, this is optional, it depends on the kind of man you are looking for. If you want a ruthless man (reasons best known to you, then leave the kind man and look for a cruel man- do not try to make him what he is not.)
Yes, a kind man… the world is complicated and stressful enough; no one needs more people who tramp on others just because they can.
A listener
No man is an island; getting married to an “I-know-it-all” man is frustrating. Yes, he is the leader, he can do anything he wants, but a leader who does not listen to his subject is bound to fail.
Please, do not settle for a man who thinks you are nothing but a container for bringing his kids to this world. Even your children are entitled to their opinions, and you should allow them to voice them out.
Be with a man who respects you enough to listen to your ideas, and patient enough to let you know why your ideas may or may not work.
A giver
Hold on… hold on, let me finish before you roll your eyes. A man who isn’t willing to give, or help people, including his woman, should not have business taking a woman home in the first place.
There is no fringing way you will be with someone who isn’t a giver and still enjoy the relationship.
Now, ladies, I don’t mean you should be with a man solely to meet the needs you and your family cannot afford to meet.
He is a person like you; you have access to education, jobs, and opportunities as he has. Nothing is stopping you from earning as much as he makes.
If you must be with a giver, you should be a giver too… it shouldn’t be one-sided. Yes, our ancestors did it, but this is a new era. Women have opportunities just as much as men do, as long as we put in the work!
It is plain selfishness to penalize a man for not giving you what you and those around you couldn’t afford. I hope you get it now?
Security
As much as I would hate to add this to the list, it has to be said. Do not spend the rest of your life with someone who cannot provide security.
Do you feel safe with your man? Is he stable enough to steer the wheels? Is he your anchor, when the winds of life blow? How confident are you that if you follow his leadership, your future won’t be a mess?
These are the things you need to put into consideration before adding the MRS title to your name.
Finally, if you want a man with all these qualities, ensure you are equally bringing these things to the table. No sane, responsible man will settle for just any woman.
So look for what makes a successful woman or what responsible men are looking for in a woman and develop yourself.
In conclusion, no one has the right to tell you the man you should get married to, not your family, not your pastor, certainly not me. The best person to dictate this to you is you.
However, that should not stop you from learning from others, listening to those who have gone ahead of you.
Furthermore, I didn’t mention physique because it is relative; what you find physically attractive may not be appealing to the girl next to you.
Nonetheless, the listed qualities above are some of the basic things we need, and it is what women should for in a man.
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