The term Tiger parenting came about in 2011. It was first used in Amy Chua’s book “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.” Amy Chua was a Yale law professor and mother of two daughters.
She published this book about her parenting style. In her book, she ascribes tiger parenting to Chinese parents.
Although she admits, she uses the terms “Chinese parents” and “Western parents” loosely. She believes anybody can adopt this style of parenting.
In her novel, the Wall Street Journal excerpted, she writes that “Western parents strive to value their children’s autonomy, encouraging them to follow their true interests, respecting their decisions, and offering positive encouragement and a supportive atmosphere.” “The Chinese, on the other hand, believe that the best way to protect their children is to prepare them for the future, to show them what they’re capable of, and to arm them with skills, work habits, and inner trust that no one can ever take away.”
Since the publication of this book, the term “Tiger parenting” has been used to describe a parenting style that prioritizes familial closeness.
Familial closeness is a strong relationship between parents and children. Tiger Parenting often uses blunt strategies such as fear and shame. Most Chinese Parents and Asian Americans adopt this form of parenting.
What is Tiger Parenting?
Tiger parenting is a form of demanding or strict parenting. This kind of parenting also uses coercive parenting approaches to push and pressure their children to achieve academic excellence.
Tiger Parenting uses authoritarian parenting methods and encourages participation in high-profile extracurricular activities such as music and art.
Tiger parenting, emphasizing the obligation to family and achievement of high expectations, may seem oppressive.
In this Tiger parenting style, children are well-supported. “Parents sit with their children and focus on homework with them, ensuring that they understand the issues,” says Dr. Markus. “They teach their children that even if they don’t understand the issue right away, with enough practice, they will. They instill in their children that they are capable and powerful.”
While some people see Tiger parenting as extreme, others say it’s warm. They believe the pressure on the children and high expectations yield good results.
Tiger parenting is focused on Asian ideals of independence and emphasizes building a solid and dedicated relationship between parent and child.
In Asian and Asian American contexts, parents often guide children to understand their fundamental connectedness to others. They are taught to understand their connectedness to their parents.
One of the most significant obligations is for the child to become an educated and responsible person who provides for the family and contributes to society.
Being a good child means living up to parental expectations. To Westerners, this style can seem pretty rigorous. A tiger parent sets exceptionally high goals for his or her child.
These goals can be academic, and they drive the child relentlessly to achieve them.
Once each goal is reached, another is immediately set, so there is no break from the parent’s demands.
Su Yeong Kim, Ph. D., a Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, studied Tiger parenting as a parenting style.
She also co-authored the study “Does Tiger Parenting Exist?”. In her study of Tiger parenting, she found this parenting style high in one factor missing in other parenting styles: Shaming.
Parents who adopted the Tiger parenting style showed higher levels of shaming than parents who did not.
This suggests a moderate level of shaming can be essential to being a supportive and successful parent among Chinese Americans. But while tiger parenting ranks high in shaming, it ranks high in warmth.
Tiger parenting can seem authoritative, but it can also involve parental sacrifice rooted in selfless love for the child.
Studies show that tiger parenting can be effective for Asian and Asian American students but not for Americans.
However, the positive results for Asian Americans come with a price. Most students raised under tiger parenting show a paradoxical pattern of both higher distress coupled with high achievement.
These children can also experience the anxiety and other downsides of a high-stress environment; such pressure is unsustainable. These children can rebel later in life when they reach an age where independence is possible.
Most of these kids can give up their goals entirely. However, in some cases, the close bond of tiger parenting can mitigate some of those alienating factors.
Studies have shown maternal love and sacrifice in warm relationships can trump childhood resentment and shame. Every parenting style has its positive and negative sides.
Pros of Tiger Parenting
- Tiger parenting guidelines encourage children’s self-discipline. Children learn the importance of disciplined and disciplined lives by following constant rules and instructions.
- Tiger parenting helps children reveal their true potential despite the relentless threat of punishment. Children show their true potential and learn to be the best to succeed.
- Irrespective of the harsh method used in raising children, tiger parenting shapes children to be responsible.
- Tiger parenting aims to shape children into responsible and successful adults. This, in turn, produces responsible, well-adjusted, goal-oriented, and focused adults in society.
- Tiger parenting helps bring out the best in children, academically and otherwise. The kids strive to meet their parents’ high demands.
Cons of Tiger Parenting
While all parents want the best for their children, tiger parenting has some drawbacks that must be considered. It could have negative consequences for children’s upbringing.
Such as:
- High demands from parents and high expectations for children can make them feel overburdened and pressured.
- Tiger parenting makes children afraid of making mistakes, as tiger parents adopt harsh punishments for their children.
- Children raised by tiger parents can develop anxiety and depression as a result of living in constant fear.
- Their fear of perfectionism hampers children’s development.
- The Tiger parenting approach stifles children’s true imagination and uniqueness. However, children lack self-discipline and depend on their parents to decide. Parents should only make a limited number of decisions for their children and not do everything for them; otherwise, they would become robots.
- In tiger parenting, the children are still under the strict supervision of their guardians. It will make them more reliant on others and cause them to develop poor coping skills.
- In certain cases, tiger parenting can lead to negative cognitive and emotional growth.
- Since children strictly obey the rules and regulations, tiger parenting rules stifle their imagination and development.
Signs That You Are Practicing Tiger Parenting
Some parents may not be sure of the parenting style they have adopted when bringing up their kids.
While you are wondering about your parenting method, a few signs can help you determine whether or not you are a tiger parent.
You have adopted tiger parenting if:
- You don’t let your kids have sleepovers or hang out with their friends as much as they want.
- As a parent, you expect your children to perform exceedingly well academically. You want them to get perfect scores on all of their tests. Tiger’s mother and Dad sometimes punish them severely if they don’t.
- You value your standards above their love for any handmade gifts. Tiger’s Mother and Dad always want them to excel in everything they do.
- You think more about what they accomplish than how they accomplish it. Most Tiger mothers or Tiger Dads place higher importance on your self-esteem than their skills.
- Your child is afraid to tell you anything. Largely because they are afraid you will reprimand them if you don’t agree with the idea or circumstance.
- You keep reminding and ordering them because you don’t trust them with things.
- You place a greater emphasis on adhering to laws and regulations than on keeping your children happy. You’re still under the impression that the rules should be followed at all costs.
- Your children follow a rigid routine of more work and less play; they do not invite their friends over because they fear your authoritative nature.
After considering the advantages and disadvantages of the tiger parent approach, I believe that tiger parenting could be an excellent way to raise children, as it helps children bring out the best in themselves.
However, it can also be a horrible experience for them, as the pressure put on these children to attain perfection and excellence in all they do might have adverse effects on them.
It is worth noting that children’s creativity and individuality are more important than their achievements. Parents should choose the parenting style that they are most comfortable with.
Still, parents should endeavor to be careful in practicing whichever parenting style they choose so as not to negatively affect their children’s lives.
