Like it or not, a lot of lovers make mistakes in their relationships and their marriages.
Some of the hiccups they experience in the relationships are not because of the “devil” or “not meant to be”, but over-familiarity… we take our friendship with our partner for granted.
Well, the good thing about this article is, we are also going to outline the mistakes lovers make in their relationships or marriages, we are going to show you some of the things that will help you improve your relationships.
Over familiarity
Most people are guilty of this, and it is the reason some relationships are boring after the first few months of dating, and it leaves you wondering why the “honey” phase went away so quickly.
Unfortunately, when you get too comfortable with your partner, you lose sight of their natural needs.
When a wife respects her pastor, or boss, more than her husband, it simply means she does not see the need to impress her husband anymore.
She does not see her spouse as a problem solver, unlike her pastor, who she sees as the solution to her spiritual issues, or her boss, who is a source of income.
Here is the truth, ladies until you start to see your spouse or would-be spouse as a pastor, a boss, a father, etc. you can never accord the respect you ought to give him.
The same goes for the men, do not take your woman for granted.
Furthermore, thinking your partner will still love you whether you stop trying to learn new things about him or not is false, and can separate two hearts.
Here is a tip you may not like; your partner has a choice.
just because he keeps saying the three magic words does not mean you are entitled to those words FOREVER, and HE cannot flip the switch at any time.
So, do not let your relationship gets to the point where you can choose not to be helpful, kind, humble, and respectful because you already know they will still love you all the same.
As for the men, when you become too familiar with your woman, you tend to forget her feminine side that begs for your affection, attention, and care, there is bound to be tension in the relationship. One of the worst things you can do to your wife is to act as the perfect gentleman to other ladies, while you behave like a douchebag at home. Over familiarity gives way to contempt, disrespect, and anger. If you only act kindly to your partner only when you are in the “mood” for some actions, the whole experience tends to go sour- don’t let that happen.
Balance
Do not get it wrong, your partner is not a stranger, and you should not treat him/her as one just because you are scared of over-familiarity. It is lovely to enjoy closure from your partner, something that will ultimately make you be yourselves around each other, act, and talk freely as best buddies. Familiarity in its right dosage gives room for intimacy and love between partners. However, do not get too familiar with your man that you overlook his headship and disrespect him as the leader in the relationship. Ladies, if you are not ready to submit to your partner, you have no business thinking about marriage. If you are ready, and you are not getting the right one, you should click here.
How to save the situation
If you notice your relationship is heading towards over-familiarity, some practical tips will help you deal with the over-familiarity syndrome in your relationship.
Stop interrupting
The majority of us are guilty of this; do not interrupt your partner during a conversation, especially when it is an important topic. Be patient enough to listen to your partner; try to understand where they are coming from, without interrupting them.
Stay in character
There is a time for everything; do not joke during a serious conversation, it shows you do not value whatever your partner is saying, even though you mean well. Whether you are a man or woman, gently obtain permission after your partner has aired his/her views on the top. It shows maturity, and your partner will appreciate you for the respect you bestowed on him, just by asking. For instance, before speaking, you can say: “Honey, may I say something on this issue?” or “Booboo, may I clarify my stance on this issue?” etc.
Watch your words
There are words we are tempted to use when we need to drive our points home. Unfortunately, these words are hurtful and can linger in the heart for long, even though you’ve both settled the differences. For instance, using words like always, and never during heated conversations. “ you always forget my birthdays” or “you never say you are sorry.” We both know they aren’t true…yes, most times, but not always, and never. Your partner may interpret these words negatively; you are simply telling them all the times they’ve tried their best, it was wasted.
Avoid lazy or shortcut texts
You may not see it as anything, but it does not tell well of you, and your partner might think about the words and phrases later.
Here are some words or phrases to avoid;
- Morning instead of Good morning Honey
- Tnk u instead of thanks Love, or thank you love
- Hw u instead of how are you doing
- Gnt instead of good night sweetheart
- Sowi or m sowi instead of I’m sorry
- Kk instead of it’s okay honey
Short forms of writings are not cute or sweet, go the extra mile and write or text in full; they are worth the “stress.” We should not get carried away with over-familiarity and lose our respect for our supposed lovers.
In conclusion, these may not be much, but they are little things that can ruin a beautiful relationship.
