As parents, we want to give our children the best possible start in life that we can afford to provide them with.
Naming your child can be one of the most important decisions you make as a parent because it can impact how others perceive them throughout their lives.
So, it’s essential to select a name that will be unique and meaningful. Don’t choose a name that could get your child mocked mercilessly by their peers.
Give your children names that will. Match their future career aspirations, current hobbies, or, even worse, all three! Here are some of the worst baby names you should avoid.
Attila
Attila is one of the worst baby names. Parents, when you name your baby Attila, do you realize that’s going to be one of their first words? Do you understand when a five-year-old kid tells people his name is Attila? Little Johnny will be taunted, and so will you.
So, don’t do it. Don’t fall victim to the historical significance of pop culture references. Just don’t do it. It never leads anywhere good.
Not even if you like that movie The Neverending Story and want your kid named after Atreyu. Nope, not even then. Stop yourself before it starts and save poor little Attila some grief.
Malina
This name was given to an 18-year-old girl in 2000 and is one of the worst baby names. The name doesn’t appear anywhere else, which makes it even worse.
No one wants their children to be different from everyone else, and with a name like Malina, you’re setting your kid up for failure.
There are many different ways that kids with unique names, like Malina, get bullied at school. And we can only imagine how terrible they feel being singled out because they have a different last name than everyone else in their class.
Therefore, if you still want a unique but don’t want to fall victim to a terrible name, try finding an unusual spelling for an already existing name instead!
Airwrecka
Seriously! What were your parents thinking when they saddled you with a name like Airwrecka? If I were you, I’d change it as soon as possible. Besides saving yourself a lifetime of torment, changing your name will protect your parents from further ridicule and embarrassment. Sorry guys—but that’s just how it is!
Bacardi
Bacardi is an alcoholic beverage. Therefore it is considered one of the worst baby names. It could be deemed inappropriate due to negative associations with alcohol when used as a baby name. More names can be considered worse than Bacardi, though.
Banana
Banana is an exciting choice for a baby name. The fruit itself is pretty bland, but it makes up for its vibrant yellow color.
Unfortunately, babies don’t come in vibrant yellow, and it’s possible that your child could be mocked as a brown banana by classmates (or coworkers).
Therefore Banana is one of the worst baby names. So what should you do if you have a soft spot for bananas? Just like with many other names, consider using it as a middle name.
Many people do that these days, but in case you didn’t know about it. There are two different ways to spell your last name. As you can imagine, people will refer to both versions when talking about or writing about you and your family.
Chlamydia
Most parents have one main goal when naming their baby: to pick a name that will grow with their child. It should be easy for friends and family to spell, pronounce and remember.
And unless you’re planning on saddling your child with Chlamydia, don’t use an obscure name no one can say or spell correctly! If you want your daughter to be mocked mercilessly at school, Chlamydia is not a good choice.
Armageddon
For most parents, picking a name for their baby is an exciting and fun process. However, for some reason, there are still parents who choose downright baffling words. One of them is Armageddon, considered one of the worst baby names.
For example, one parent recently decided to bestow upon their daughter an old-fashioned name – Armageddon. The worst part is that it’s not even her real name; her full title is Armageddon Rose Namakaeha Momoa O’Brian Warner Cranston.
Daniel
Oh, come on! Just look at it and say it out loud. It’s a filthy word that refers to a highly unpleasant substance. If you name your baby Daniel, they will probably face some bullying in school. Imagine explaining that one to Grandma!
Blue Jeans
Blue jeans have not always been as popular in name as they are today. They are among one the worst baby names out there. But why is that? How did denim make its way into baby name popularity? Simply because some parents lack understanding in this aspect of giving their babies names.
Carrion
If you want your little darling to be bullied by peers, mocked, and teased, then a name like Carrion would be perfect. It’s rare enough that it will certainly stick out in their school directory. This can only mean one thing: your child will get made fun of.
And what happens when they grow up? How do you think a resume with Carrion on it will help your kid get into college? Carrions are the worst baby names, so avoid them.
Drug
A baby named Marijuana is bound to be ridiculed. The same can be said for a child named Cocaine or Heroin. All of these are considered the worst baby names. Don’t worry, though; you won’t have to call your son Amphetamine or Xanax.
Felony
Felony – seriously?! If you were thinking about naming your baby that, we implore you not to follow through with it. It’ll be a childhood ruined before it’s even begun!
Imagine how embarrassing it’ll be to go through their SATs and have their name misspelled as Felony. Or even worse, is your child’s full name Folly Felony? That’s just cruel; whoever thought that was okay?!
Hashtag
Hashtag as names you’re glad you didn’t name your baby: When we polled a group of parents, asked them what they thought were some of The Worst Baby Names Ever.
These were definitely among them. Luckily for all of us (especially these little tykes), none of these names has yet been officially chosen by anyone who had children in mind when doing so. And yet somehow, I feel like they will be someday.
Custard
The Custard family is asking for a lot when they decide to name their firstborn Custard. Let’s be honest, that name just screams Please make fun of me! It also has some connotations that may not sit well with you.
The worst part? No one will be able to spell it right on their birth certificate. And your child will have a horrible time getting through airport security.
KaVIIIyn
So, think again if you’re looking for an unusual baby name and your first thought is a Roman numeral. People are already mocking KaVIIIyn on Twitter—and we’re not sure how (or why) they used that spelling in particular. But it just shows that unique names have been done before. And probably better.
Therefore, KaVIIIyn is among the lists of worst baby names, don’t name your child.
Lasagna
It’s hard enough to live up to a name like Lasagna, let alone one that has been used for generations. (Lasagna would probably be less than thrilled if he ever discovered his namesake pasta dish.)
On top of it, Lasagna is also a lot harder for teachers and coaches to pronounce, which might make a difference when your kid gets picked last in P.E. or loses out on student council.
Good luck, Lasagna! That’s one challenging name you have there that everybody considers one of the worst baby names.
Misery
Many parents name their children names they love, and sometimes these choices are inspired by favorite books, T.V. shows, or songs.
For example, you may have heard of a couple who named their son Walter after everyone’s favorite officemate on The Office.
Unfortunately for poor Walter, some kids with weird names may have been born into difficult situations where their unique name was mocked or taunted relentlessly by other kids. How could such a tragedy occur?
Moon
Moon Unit is a terrible name for a baby. It’s so bad that NASA was forced to rename one of its satellites. A space program rechristened its massive lunar probe Lunar Prospector. U.S. District Judge James R. Munley ruled that calling it Moon Unit infringed on Frank Zappa’s copyright (it appeared on Zappa’s 1982 album, Thing-Fish). Moon Unit also happens to be one of author J.D.
Netflix
The same parenting experts will tell you that it’s not a good idea to saddle your kid with one of these worst baby names.
This is because that’s embarrassing or hard for others to pronounce. But parents have still done it over and over and over again.
While some names (for example, John or Mary) have endured through time, there are some genuinely horrific baby names people give their kids today. Names they will have to contend with throughout school and adulthood.
Riot
Laugh riot is one of those worst baby names you shouldn’t name your child. This could easily lead to your child becoming a social pariah if your kids are lucky enough not to be bullied for having a ridiculous name.
They’ll still have to make do with other people making jokes about their moniker. Plus, don’t you want people calling you dude when you’re an adult? When they hear your name.
While it is unfortunate that Laugh riot will probably end up being used as one of those pseudonyms you create online just so no one knows who you are. At least they won’t have it in real life.
Taqueria
Can you imagine being teased as a school-aged child with a name like Taqueria? No? Because it sounds ridiculous, and nobody would ever knock anyone with such a name, right?
Right! Well, except for poor little Taqueria. It’s easy to point fingers at outrageous names, but there are plenty more baby names that are downright strange.
Toadie
Parents in certain parts of Australia, including Western Australia and New South Wales, have been known to name their kids some strange things. It’s a bit of a joke that babies will be named Chewbacca or Milhouse if born there.
But did you know that Toadie was one of them? A couple in New South Wales loved Neighbours – an Australian soap opera – so much that they named their baby after it. What could go wrong? Oh yeah.
Quiche
It’s easy to see why people get upset with parents who give their kids outlandish and ridiculous names. I mean, when it comes down to it, naming your child a dumb name is just giving them an opportunity for ridicule from day one. That’s why I think Quiche is one of my all-time favorite, worst baby names.
Wednesday
It is one of the Top Ten Worst Baby Names. This name is a ridiculous combination of characters: part of it is Wendy, which means military man, and Dee, which is short for Daphne, which means laurel tree.
The result? A name that sounds like a mispronunciation would only be used by people who speak English as a second language. And you want your baby mocked all through high school? I don’t think so! Skip it!
Appaloosa
Choosing a baby name is hard work—for both parents and their soon-to-be bundle of joy. Don’t make it harder on your child by giving them one of these worst baby names. This name has been singled out as not just unfortunate but also some of the worst names ever chosen.
Listen! Don’t get us wrong: we love you and support whatever you choose for your little angel. But don’t pick any of these atrocities. Here are our top ten worst baby names.
Semaj
The name Semaj is one of those names that sounds interesting at first. But it is so overused and unoriginal that it becomes almost a parody.
While you may think you are doing your kid a favor by not giving them a trendy name like Riley or Madison. There are plenty of better options to go with than Semaj.
Shooter
Suppose you have a baby boy and want him to grow up as a good, wholesome citizen. Then, you should probably skip giving him a macho moniker like Shooter. No parent wants their son teased about his manhood or whether he even has one.
So, steer clear of names that are over-the-top masculine or tough. Giving your kid an abnormal name doesn’t just open them up to being harassed in school. It could impact how they perceive themselves to be.
If they feel outcast because they stand out in class, that can affect their self-esteem, which can then lead to behavioral problems down the road.
Childhood bullying is no joke—so let’s avoid these worst baby names and think of our babies’ well-being instead!
Stalin
Don’t name your baby Stalin unless you want them mocked mercilessly. They may be affectionately known as a man of steel, but having a leader who murdered millions can be harmful in that arena.
Maybe consider naming your child after someone more cuddly and friendly, like Winnie-the-Pooh or Mickey Mouse instead. It’s best not to choose anything too controversial when picking out a baby name.
Salami
Names like these are bound to make you look silly. Save yourself and your child some embarrassment and skip over these weird names. They’re simply awful.
Picking a name for your baby can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to result in people making fun of you and your child later in life. Salami is on the list of worst baby names, begging to be mocked throughout their childhood!
A miracle
Seriously? If you insist on naming your child a name that isn’t commonly used, pick something easy for others to pronounce. They’ll likely assume it is a spelling error and correct themselves quickly.
So, save your poor child from an extended period of mockery. In other words, leave off extra vowels and try not to add syllables at the end. (Noah, Jacob, and Connor are some examples.)
Any
There’s a reason no one spells their name A-N-Y. There are many more worst baby names than great ones, especially for girls. Here is a list of some words that will have your child mocked. Make sure you don’t make one of these mistakes when choosing a name for your baby girl or boy! If you do, let’s say I feel bad for them.
Elmo
We hope you’re not considering naming your baby after a character on Sesame Street. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t do it: they will be mocked. They will have trouble making friends in school and possibly become easy prey for bullies.
All in all, it’s an immature decision that could come back to haunt you down the road when your child has had enough and tries changing their name from ‘Elmo’ at 26 years old. So please, avoid ever naming your baby ‘Elmo,’ one of the worst baby names in history.
Ebola
Suppose Ebola is serious enough for public health officials to spend weeks on a P.R. campaign. Then I’m pretty sure it’s severe enough for me to tell you that you should never name your child Ebola. Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
Sadman
Well, you’re off to a great start by avoiding popular names, but there are still some that will haunt your child for life. First up: Sadman. It may not seem like much, but trust us on this one—no kid ever wants to be saddled with a name as dorky and embarrassing as Sadman. For God’s sake, don’t name your child Sadman
Vagina
You’re probably already searching for cool names if you’re expecting a baby. Take note: choosing a penis name is not advisable. This is indeed one of the worst baby names. Not because your child will have issues with being mocked for having a dong for a name, but because it will be harder for them to get ahead.
Toadie
What’s more embarrassing than having a name that is just bad? It has a name that makes people think you are talking about something different. Not only will your friends and family make fun of you, but strangers might also want to get in on it.
For example, if I met someone named Toadie or Jorgen. I’d wonder if they told me their name was Toad or George, so be careful when naming your child.
Chlamydia
It’s a bacterium that causes eye infections, pelvic inflammatory disease, and infertility in women. Men can also contract Chlamydia, but it rarely affects their reproductive organs.
Why is it on our list? Simple: The last thing you want for your child is for them to constantly tease about their name by those mean kids at school.
Imagine what life would be like for your child if he had to go through life with such a strange name. Suppose you have named your child one of the worst baby names; Chlamydia.
Dixon butt
Everybody knows not to name their kid Facebook or Twitter, but many people don’t know why. In 2000, these two words took their place in history as two of the worst baby names ever.
At first glance, it makes sense; after all, a Dixon butt is what you get when you put your lips together and blow. But some parents just didn’t get that joke.
Jabez
If your child’s name is Jabez, you will probably want them to change it. Why? Because Jabez can easily be shortened into a nasty nickname. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
For example, calling someone Jabezboo is far from kind and could lead to very harsh bullying in school. Also, plenty of other options for biblical names aren’t so embarrassing. And don’t even get us started on spelling variations like Gable or Gabby!
Judas Iscariot
People will call your child a hypocrite, an enemy, and a betrayer. They’ll question his beliefs and his decisions.
All because you decided to name him after Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus’ twelve disciples! Who betrayed him by handing him over to authorities for crucifixion (John 6:71-75).
Judas Iscariot is commonly believed to be one of the worst baby names so no parent will name their child Judas Iscariot. It’s like naming your child Benedict Arnold or Benedict Cumberbatch; they don’t deserve it.
What to Consider When Naming a Child?
There are a lot of things that can make you dislike a name. Maybe it’s too popular, or it sounds silly, or it just doesn’t fit your last name. Whatever reason you choose, these are not familiar names to give a child.
So, when naming your child, consider how they will feel years later when they are ridiculed for their name! Therefore avoid these worst baby names as much as possible.
Most children get teased at some point in their school career, and while bad nicknames can be given to anyone, these names start with a pretty high handicap.
