At some point, we tend to ask ourselves what makes a good mother. Sometimes, we look and ask ourselves, am I even doing this mom thing correctly?
You may not voice it out, but there are chances that many mothers have thought about it.
You might not be able to measure how you’re doing as you would in the case of a paid job or call a friend and admit it.
The things learned about being a mom are a composition of experience, research, and peers.
You often hear moms ponder if they’re doing enough regarding motherhood. They’re scared of being judged, carrying with them a mixed bag of motherhood, but privately missing their previous lives without children.
It is normal to feel this way. Mothers often see motherhood as a goal – something to aim for and accomplish.
The qualities of a mother are not geared towards the outside or achievement-based; rather, they are connected to the personality within.
Perfection should not be aimed for; instead, habits that create healthy relationships should be developed between you and your child.
Motherhood is one journey where the qualities of a mother can be developed in the children by the mothers.
Here is a list of qualities mothers should possess to create and maintain a close relationship with their children and succeed in motherhood.
Qualities of a Mother
- Patient
- Set boundaries and rules
- Forgiveness
- Be supportive and loving
- Be a good role model
- Respectful
- Strong
- Humble
- Empathetic
- Authoritative
1. Patience
Being a patient mom is vital when it comes to raising kids. Being patient with your child can take a while, as children tend to test the limits and boundaries you have set.
They always want to see what they can or can’t get away with. Understanding and perfecting what they should be doing takes a while for them.
Something as simple as feeding themselves can drive you crazy when it all goes over the floor again.
However, you must remain patient, as they will surely pass that phase.
They are only learning in their time, and getting furious with them doesn’t help their self-confidence. Patience is one of the hardest parts for most mothers.
You could try practicing by taking breaks and slowing down; you don’t always have to beat yourself up and place so much pressure on yourself that it causes stress.
Be kind to yourself; even if you don’t get the dishes washed or the bills paid instantly, it’s not the end of the world.
2. Set Boundaries And Rules
Setting boundaries is important for children to thrive. It helps them know what they should and shouldn’t do, whether they’re treading the right path or stepping out of line.
As parents, you should also be consistent with the rules. It won’t be good to change them all the time, and it can also confuse your child.
The same applies to discipline. Punishment should be consistent. If you punish them one time and not the next, you’ll be sending them mixed messages.
The punishment to be given should fit the crime committed. Do not give out a big punishment for simply breaking a rule.
3. Forgiveness
Children will always make mistakes. As mothers, you must forgive them whenever they go wrong, as they are still learning.
Discipline is paramount in a child’s upbringing, but forgive them and pull them close again after being disciplined.
You could offer hugs and kisses to little ones. As their mothers, you can also make mistakes.
Do not hesitate to seek your child’s forgiveness if you’re the wrong one. This will inculcate in them a valuable life lesson.
There is no perfect person anywhere, mistakes are inevitable, and forgiveness should always have a place in humans’ lives, as holding on to negativity is unhealthy.
4. Be Supportive and Loving
Growing up can be tough. Love and support are like pillars in the lives of every human, including children. You need to support your child through whatever they are going through.
They could still be learning to toilet-train or quarreling with their friends (for the older ones). Whatever it is, they need your support all through.
Parents often raise their children to follow their personal interests, principles, and values, but truth be told, they can’t make who the child is as a person.
Therefore, whatever the child shows interest in doing, be it their hobbies or whatever they seem to be passionate about, get involved and provide them with maximum support.
Every child relies on knowing that they’ve got your love and support. Therefore, parents should endeavor to give support and love to these children without asking questions.
5. Be a Good Role Model
As a mother, you are the first person your child gets to know right from birth.
As such, you’re the first role model ever known to them. It is of great importance that you be a good role model to them as this will contribute to the shaping of their lives.
Children tend to copy and learn whatever they see from their parents while growing up.
If you want them to say or do certain things or exhibit a certain attitude and character, you should be ready to show those things first.
You don’t expect your child to do certain things when you, as the mother, are unwilling to do them yourself.
6. Respectful
It is often said that respect is reciprocal. If you want to be respected by your child, you should be ready to show and give them respect in return.
It’s actually of no point if they’re children and are much younger or you’re their parent and much older than they are. What remains is that respect should always be given.
7. Strong
Motherhood is a journey that tells emotionally, even on the strongest of women. You have to brace yourself, stimulate your inner strength, and be the rock your child can rely on. This is very important.
Your child needs you in order to be free from their fears, to be constant so as to make changes less difficult. Children always want to have a comfortable place to go to.
Therefore, you must find strength and be strong to always be there for them. Practice this by being calm and reasonable in times of crisis and not reacting with fear to the extent that you lose composure.
8. Humble
Humility reminds us that we are all on a course of lifelong learning. We are not perfect, so we should not act or behave as though we are.
You shouldn’t let pride get the best of you. Let your children know that adults make mistakes, too.
Don’t try to cover up something you did just because you don’t want to get embarrassed when your children get to know about it. The truth is, if you don’t own up your mistakes, your children will do the same.
Be compassionate and humble, and they’ll follow suit. You could start by swallowing your pride, apologizing for your mistakes, setting good examples, learning to get their viewpoint, and stopping focusing on “winning” all the time.
9. Empathetic
The ability to identify, understand, and share people’s thoughts, feelings, or emotional states is known as empathy.
Reacting to your child with empathy will enable you to discover why they acted the way they did rather than taking full disciplinary actions.
A lot of parents get into power struggles when their child misbehaves. Voices are raised, hands placed on the hips, eyebrows furrowed and all.
At this point, all patience is draining. It is an unfair battle because it is obvious that parents will dominate, but when you respond with empathy, you’re not losing nor winning; both parent and child are on the same side.
As mothers, question your children concerning such behavior they put on you, and you can never tell if there might be a reason behind such acts that you just haven’t figured out yet.
Imagine yourself in their shoes, get to know how they feel, and then ask yourself the question.
Would you have acted the same way if it was you? After that, let them know you understand how they feel. Oftentimes, they want to be heard.
10. Authoritative
A good mother is responsive and nurturing, exercising authority and setting specific standards for her children.
Parents must provide their children with the necessary resources and maximum support to enable them to learn and grow.
Exercising authority brings about a balance of warmth and support with consistency and high expectations.
Conclusion
Many thanks to social media, gossips, and even the news; motherhood is being exhibited all the time. Mothers are waging mommy wars on each other and hearing different views and opinions on everything from everyone.
The information age has its advantages, but it can be considered too much of a good thing.
In the midst of it all, what makes a good mom and a good person are generally the fundamental features of who they really are.
This whole mom thing may not be played out well by everyone, but with qualities such as love, empathy, and patience, you realize you’re doing better than you ever imagined.
